PERSONAL BEATITUDE: “Fill yr own shoes.”

PERSONAL BEATITUDE: Fill yr own shoes.

It’s been awhile since I’ve had a personal beatitude. Actually, that’s not true. I usually I have a personal beatitude in my life. I keep it written on a card, carry it w/ me, glance at it during the day. Keeps me focused, centered.

So what’s on my card these days? “Fill yr own shoes.”

Too often in life we try to fill other people’s shoes, usually some predecessor. For a long time in life, we try to fill the shoes of some parent. Or maybe an older sibling. People move on and we step in, sometimes into their shoes. And usually this becomes so incredibly impossible b/c we are told that we have some big shoes to fill.

But IF we live our lives realizing that the only shoes we have to fill are our own, THEN we find a perfect fit—like a few weeks into a pair of Chuck Taylor’s, when the sole and the canvas begin to take on the shape of yr feet, and yr feet alone—THAT kind of comfort.

But as long as we’re trying to wear other people shoes—parents, siblings, whoever—we’ll never find that comfort, that perfect fit in our lives.

So fill yr own shoes. Break ‘em in. And wear them all the time.

Personal beatitudes, #4

BEATITUDE #4: Do something I’ve never done.

Nothing too daring.  Nothing too impossible.  Just something I’ve never done & think I CAN do.

My wife came home recently w/ her Jeep smoking—not smoking, STEAMING, and smelling like it was overheating.

Now, I’m no whiz when it comes to cars but I’m getting better.  The past few times (more recent than I would’ve liked) I have been able to identify what’s been wrong w/ our cars, just NOT been able to fix them—or else, havent tried.

The entire inside of the engine looked as if a can of spray paint had exploded—yellowish splatter on the engine parts & the inside of the hood, all eminating from one central location.  There I found a crack, a tear in a rubber tube that curved from the radiator to the engine.

That’s the problem, I said as I have times before—before which I would usually call someone to fix it.  But not this time.  I stopped myself and told myself, I can do this.

I went to Pep Boys.  I cant really remember why I went to Pep Boys the last time I went—I think it was to buy a trailer hitch I never ended up buying—talked myself out of it.  I had some trouble explaining what I needed to the high school kid w/ the name tag, but I knew I’d know it when I saw it.  We went through three rubber tubes before finding the right one—THAT’S IT!  I declared upon seeing the newer version of the torn tube I wanted to replace—myself.

Before I began, I reminded myself that it was as simple as it seemed—take one tube off, put the new one on.  The clamps were taut—they were supposed to be in order to keep the tube secured.  And I had to figure out how to get them off, but I did.  That was the hardest part.  And after I had replaced the tube, and the clamps, I was done.  Too early, I had thought.  Surely I had done something wrong—surely I was missing something—it couldnt be that easy.  But it was.

My wife took it for the test drive, to Fruitdale and back.  Ten minutes on the road, engine heating enough that the new tube was hot to the touch—but it had stayed on—no smell, no fluid.

I patted myself on the back.

And I’ve been happy ever since.  Happy b/c I had done something I’d never done before, but could certainly do again.

At some point everything is new to us and we plunge into life w/ a reckless abandon w/o doubt that only children can possess.  Then we grow up.  And we stick to safety—things we know we can do.  But every now and then it feels good to do something new—the sense of discovery, of learning, of accomplishment.  Something outside the familiar, something you may never have known that you’re gifted at but felt like you could give a try.

I can change a radiator hose.  Who knows what else I might be able to do, if only I dare to do something I’ve never done.

My personal beatitudes, #3, the remix.

Happiness projects are never final.  A personal rule is always revisable.  And people can change their minds.

My last post didnt make me happy.  Calvin’s doctrine of indifferent things is a good one to keep in mind before you are baited into arguments about things that dont really matter, especially as a pastor.  But I didnt say anything that added to my personal happiness.  My discussion on indifferent things was indifferent at best.

So here’s my new and better take on it:

BEATITUDE #3: Dont scratch mosquito bites.

Life can get annoying sometimes, and the things that usually annoy us are the little things.  Mosquito bites.

For the most part mosquito bites are harmless annoyances.  When I’m out grilling, they get my ankles.  Okay, I could be smart and spray some Off on before I grill.  But no.  Just like my use of suntan lotion, I only think about putting it on after I’ve already needed it.

You dont notice them at first, but then you realize—when reaching for the Off—that yr ankle is covered w/ them—little red bumps.  They dont really hurt.  But they do start to itch.

And here’s where yr trouble comes in.  You cant leave the itch alone, and you scratch—and scratch—and scratch some more.  And you keep at it.  Then you’re bleeding and the scabs last for weeks.  If only we wouldnt scratch at them, they’d probably go away.  But we cant, and we let a little annoyance become a huge mess.

That’s life.  We make big messes out of little annoyances.  Mosquito bites.  We let them consume our time and energy.  We obsess about them until we cause ourselves trouble.  We let them ruin our day, ruin our week, ruin our lives.

I say no more!  Things are going to annoy me like mosquito bites in my life.  Things that break and need to be fixed.  Things that dont turn out the way I want them to.  People who complain about things that arent that big of a deal.  They may cause me a little discomfort, but I’m not going to let them get me into a mess.  I’ll itch, but I wont scratch.  And I’m pretty sure I’ll be happier.

(Now, how do I deal with the ants who are eyeing the honey bun sitting next to my cup of coffee on our patio table?)

My personal beatitudes, #2

“Then I heard the voice of Ha’Shem saying, ‘Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?’ And I said, ‘Here I am. Send me!’” ~Isaiah 6.8, NIV

My happiness project continues. Have I been any happier trying to “be the best possible me?” A little. More certain and confident of myself, for sure. It’s helped me maintain perspective. And it’s saved me energy. It’s hard to keep up trying to please everyone all the time, and I’m happier knowing that I dont have to do this b/c it wont ever happen. All I have to do is my best, and that’s enough.

So here’s my second personal beatitude:

BEATITUDE #2: Be a Blues Brother.

I was talking to someone about this yesterday and expected them to understand exactly what I meant. Their question? “What’s a Blues Brother?” What’s a Blues Brother? I had to explain about the movie—Ray Charles, Aretha Franklin, Cab Calloway—and not whatever that sequel was years later with John Goodman. No, I’m talking the Blues Brothers—Jake and Elwood, Akryod and Belushi.

And when asked, what did Jake and Elwood say they were on? Why did they meet all those people, go to all the troubles, play for a rowdy Honky-Tonk crowd? B/c they believed that they were on a mission from God. It kept them going, even as the police chased them through the mall and the streets of Chicago.

“We’re on a mission from God.” To view yr life this way is to be a Blues Brother (or Sister). Life has greater purpose, is lived with a greater urgency, when it is viewed as a mission from God.

I am happier knowing that God has a mission for my life. Sometimes I’m not exactly sure what that mission is, but I dont have to. Isaiah didnt know what he was getting himself into, he just answered God’s call. He didnt know the mission objectives God had in store for him, those would become clear over time. Isaiah just said yes.

I’m on a mission from God. It’s not to solve all the world’s problems. That was Christ mission. My mission is simply to live out my gradually unfolding part of that greater mission of love.

My personal beatitudes, #1

“So God created them in God’s own image, in the image of God God created them; male and female God created them” ~Genesis 1.27, NIV

Thanks to Gretchen Rubin, I have a new project I’m working on in life—my happiness project.  Gretchen says that everyone should have one, that everyone’s will look different, and hers has changed her life.  To begin, she says one must have “commandments,” a personal code by which to live.  I rather think of them as beatitudes: happy am I when I …

But before I begin today w/ my first beatitude, I encourage you to go check out Gretchen’s blog, also now listed in my blog roll.  And I also encourage you to start a happiness project as well.  You can choose your own happiness—Jesus called it living in the kingdom, it’s just simply living yr life.

BEATITUDE #1: Be the best possible you.

I am happy when I am the best possible version of myself.  When I’m not trying to be someone I’m not, trying to be what I think someone wants me to be.  When I’m just trying to be who God created me to be.

Each and every one of us were created in the image of God—male and female, God created us.  The best possible version of ourselves is that image, that reflection of God in our lives.  When we realize that we are just fine the way we are—we dont have to be like someone else, talk like someone else, think like someone else.  We just have to be ourselves—the best possible version of ourselves.  That’s how God created us.

But over time we forget what that self is—that pure self that we were created to be.  We have grown up, learning to play certain roles that we have become disconnected w/ our souls (Parker Palmer has done a lot of writing on how to bridge the gap btwn role and soul).  But in order to be happy, we have to reconnect w/ that soul, that self.

One of the best criticisms that I have ever received—the one that stung the most but made the biggest difference in my life—was that I was trying too hard.  I wont go into the setting or who said it, but they were right.  I was trying too hard—to impress those around me, to convince them that I knew what I was doing, was the best at what I was doing.  I was trying so hard, though, that it came across as being false.  And though the truth was that I did know what I was doing, by trying too hard it just came across as fake.

Be the best possible you.  Dont try to be someone you’re not.  Dont try to be what someone wants you to be or you think they want from you.  Just be yrself—-yr best self.